How would you respond if you had someone tells you that you hurt their feelings alot?

I sent an email to a family member who intimidates me. I had alot of pent up emotions to this person and so I had alot to say. I sent an email about how fun they and humorous, but that belittling jokes hurts my feelings. I like they are there for my kids, but they should not be so rough with them, as it upsets them. I like that they are interested, but I feel 'less than' when I am demanded to explain my decisions to them. I went on and on and said everything that bothers me. I think he felt really attacked, but I got my courage up and said it all! I said it as nicely as possible and at the end, I said that I would no longer let myself be belittled, even if to him, 'it is only a joke'. He got defensive and very very rude and attacked me verbally and totally lashed out at me. He showed his agressive side because 'I make him look like an a s s h o l e'. I am curious how others would have responded? If I were him I would have been hurt and asked gently why they didnt' say anything sooner.